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From
my English Country Garden – A letter from Builder Michael
Being
the most intelligent person in the world is something I enjoy! So,
you can imagine how surprised I was when I met someone who is
possibly even more intelligent than I am! And, it happened last week.
I
was talking to a certain Mrs. Kastner of Vienna. And, she was
explaining that the United States of America is not the United States
of America at all. According to Mrs. Kastner, its real name should
be The United States of West Bachio! But, why?
In
the 16th century, a certain Herr Bachio, a native of
Ottakring - a suburb of Vienna - set out to sail round the world.
And, without even knowing it, he did in fact land in what is now
known as the United States of America. And, he was, without
realizing it, the very first European ever to set foot on American
soil. But, he thought he had landed in Ireland.
And,
because he couldn't find Dublin, he turned round and set out for
home. And, it was only whilst describing the Irish as having
darkish reddish skin, and all wearing feathers in their hats and all
living in tents which he called wig wams, did Herr Bachio realize
that he hadn't been in Ireland at all! So, what did the clever
people of Ottakring think of all this?
The
problem was that America hadn't been discovered at the time. If it
had of been, Herr Bachio would have known where he was. So, why did
he think he was in Ireland. It turned out that not even Mrs. Kastner
knew. But, I did!
Instead
of having sailed west, he had gone east. And, as everyone knows, the
first place one comes to (if you exclude China, India, Japan, etc.)
is America. Or, was it that Herr Bachio was unable to read maps? I
doubt it. Herr Bachio was one of Austria's greatest map makers. The
truth was that he was in India , that's why Red Indians are called
Indians, and that's why he couldn't find Dublin. And, even I learn
something new everyday!
Yours,
BM
