Diarikom : (C+++) - From My English Country Garden - A letter from Builder Michael

Wednesday 22 June 2016

(C+++) - From My English Country Garden - A letter from Builder Michael - Dagmar's Theory of time!

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From My English Country Garden – A Letter from Builder Michael

Dagmar's Theory of Time!

I have a little secret. I am not only the only normal person in the world, but also, without any doubt at all, the most intelligent as well. This, I am sure, will come as no surprise to you, but, what is surprising is the following – I am not only the only person in the world who has succeeded in expanding Einstein's theory of relativity into something of practical use! There is someone else, too!

And, this person is possibly even cleverer than I am! Her name is Dagmar and she lives in Baden, a small sleepy town in Austria. And Dagmar's thinking is far in advance of anything that I have ever encountered. For she has developed her own theory of time!

And, not only is her theory good in theory (you understand what I mean!), but it works perfectly well in practice, too. And, the amazing thing is, her theory not only slows down time, but it gives you extra valuable hours as well. And, what is even more astonishing – her theory is incredibly easy to put into practice. It's simplicity itself. Just follow the following and you will always succeed.

On your way to a party, turn your watch back by 2 hours. You will now be where you were 2 hours ago (in time I mean). This will not only ensure your punctual arrival, but will also mean that you can have your first drink 2 hours earlier than usual. Advantage number one.

What happens next is of the greatest importance. After your first drink, you then have to turn your watch forward by four hours. It is in this action that the secret and mystery of Dagmar's theory lies! Instead of having been at the party for only twenty minutes (or as long as it takes you to knock back your first G+T (Gin and Tonic)), you have now been there for more than 4 hours – and – you are still sober! Or, if you prefer to put it another way – how time flies when you're enjoying yourself!

But, now comes the real advantage. Instead of having to leave at midnight to catch the last bus home, you can now stay until 4. The bus will now be leaving at 5. You have given yourself an extra 4 hours, now making a total of 6. In effect – you have doubled your time.

But, the biggest advantage of all is the sleep that you will not now be missing. After arriving home at 4.30 in the morning, you will find that you will still have enough time to get a good night's sleep, at least 8 hours, before it is time to get up again at 7.

So, in total, what does this mean? It means that your evening and night would have had at least 18 hours, and not just 12 as is normal. Truly amazing and all very true. Some parties do seem to last for ever, and others are over too soon. It's all a question of what's good and what's bad. It's all relative. And, so what if you miss your last bus? Wait for the first one of course. It will be leaving at 5. But, what if you're Dagmar?

No problem. It is still only 2, or, is it really 6? if you had arrived at 4 – which was – in reality 6, and, after a drink it became 11, what time is it now? I'm confused!

And, what would Dagmar do? Upon arriving home, she would turn her watch back and sleep through the party that she had just arrived home from! How very simple.

See you next time, Yours, Builder Michael