Audry Bowls and Her Great Apple Crumble

 

Apple crumble is one of the few British dishes that really tastes great. Everyone likes it. It can be eaten with custard and cream or taken just as it is. And, this Great British dish is a thing that happened by chance. And, its story began just after the war.

Audrey Bowls was was just seventeen at the time. And, because there were no other jobs to be had, she was cooking school dinners for a living. And, in those days, school dinners were things that everyone hated. Nobody liked them. They simply didn't taste nice.

And then, one day, things suddenly changed. School dinners took a turn for the better. And, all because Audrey Bowls forgot something important!

The apple pie had been in the oven for more than an hour when Audrey Bowls went white in the face. She even had to sit down. The milk, the eggs, and the water were still on the table. She had forgotten to add them. Dry pastry! Oh no! What could she do? 300 hungry young children and no apple pie. A disaster was looming.

Quickly, Audrey Bowls took the apple pie out of the oven. But, there was no smell of burning and no burned apple pie. The dry apple pie had crumbled, instead. And, it was really quite nice. Just a little too dry. And, this was no problem. Hot runny custard was all that was needed. And, Audrey's apple pie which was now apple crumble was an immediate success. The kids simply loved it. And, this was the first time in the history of British school dinners that the kids wanted seconds. A great day for Britain.

And, word quickly spread. Soon, apple crumble was being served on all the big ships that crossed the Atlantic, and, of course, on all major airlines as well. Everyone everywhere loved it.

Sometimes it's the small people in life who contribute the most. They make people happy. And, Audrey's mistake in the kitchen was the best thing that ever happened in Britain. The day the pie crumbled was the day that all children smiled! Great British cooking was up at the top! And, all thanks to young Audrey Bowls. If she hadn't forgotten the eggs, milk, and water there would be no apple crumble – just apple pie!

Audrey Bowls and her great apple crumble.

Erika Berger

A few weeks ago, Erika Berger told me the following story. It happened on a cold Thursday November afternoon in 1968, and Erika Berger thought the end of the world had arrived.

Erika Berger's little hairdresser's shop in the 10^th district of Vienna had only been open for just a few weeks. Erika Berger was still very young and new in the business and she was good. Business was going amazingly well. And then, just after 2 on that long ago freezing cold November Thursday afternoon, one of Erika Berger' customers noticed something unusual. Outside in the street there was movement - and it was moving at speed.

First came the kindergarten. And, there was none of the usual childish giggling and laughter. Then came the school; and they were more running than walking and all looking concerned. And, there were many other people as well. All going the same way.

And then, all of a sudden, there was no one outside. Outside, the street was deserted.

And, as Erika Berger carried on working, she thought nothing of the nothing that was happening outside. But, not for too long.

The explosion was enormous. The whole building shook. Combs and scissors and cups and saucers were thrown around, and even a mirror crashed down to the ground. And, Erika Berger, her girls, and her customers - some still with very wet hair - ran out of the shop and into the cold afternoon. And, there stood a policeman. And he was very surprised. Where had they come from?

Earlier that afternoon, an unexploded Second World War bomb had been found. It was on a building site just round the corner. And, the only thing possible was a controlled explosion. And, of course, evacuation. But, for whatever reason -Erika Berger's little shop had been completely forgotten. And then, with a very big smile, the policemen announced that the danger was past and they could all go back to the shop.

And, there was much clearing up to be done. And, that night, with friends and family all helping, the little shop was put back together again. And, even a new mirror and new coffee cups had been found. And, when they had finished, Erika Berger's little hairdresser's shop looked better than ever. Better than new. And, at 9 on the dot the next morning, Erika Berger opened as usual.

Erika Berger's hairdresser's shop had only been open for just a few weeks. Then came the end of the world with a very big bang. But, it wasn't to be. After a night clearing up it was business as usual.

Erika Berger and A Very Short End of The World

Vocabulary

amazingly – erstaunlicherweise

concerned – besorgt

evacuation – evakuieren

even - sogar

giggling – kichern

on the dot - pünktlich

plenty to do – viel zu tun

+ + + + + + +

Word's of High Wisdom - This week's word's off high wisdom come from Oslo in Norway.

 

Written and read by Nigel A. JAMES

Hansi Zeiler

 

Hansi Zeiler's new flat was perfect, except for one little thing.  Listen to Hansi's story.

Hansi had moved.  His new flat was perfect.  It had very high ceilings, generous rooms, and Hansi's view of St. Stephen's cathedral across the roofs of Vienna was second to none.  And now, three months later, Hansi was having his housewarming party.  A dinner for his very close friends.

The menu was simple.  Pumpkin soup, chicken in red  wine sause, and fruit salad for sweet.  A meal that was easy to cook and  everyone liked.

On the day of the party, Hansi got up very early. He had much to get ready.  His first job was laying the table. A big white sheet not a table cloth.  Crockery he'd borrowed from mum, and cuttlery and glasses a good friend had lent him.

Then, Hansi went shopping, and, afterwards, having time on his hands,  went off for a very quick lunch.  And, just after four, Hansi began with the meal. The cutting up of the vegetables, the seasoning of the meat, and so on and so forth.  And, then came the time to put the food on to cook.

Then came the shock.  A terrible moment. Hansi's electric stove didn't work.  It was broken.  

Hansi tried everything. He turned the stove on and off, then on and off again and again and again.  And, he twiddled all the knobs.  And, he prayed. But, nothing.  The stove stayed definately dead.  And, being a Saturday afternoon, there was absolutely no chance of repair.

We all arrived at seven on the dot.  Hansi told us to keep our coats on and off we  went to the Gasthaus. 

We had a wonderful evening.  Viennese gasthaus cooking is, after all, amongst the best in the world. 

Hansi was happy and we were happy. A great celebration for Hansi's new flat.  A housewarming party in a gasthaus and not at the home being warmed.  An original first.

And, Hansi's stove? Hansi never had it repaired.  It just wasn't worth it. Cooking was nothing for Hansi. And,  gasthaus cooking speaks louder than words.  

There's no preperation, no shopping, no cooking, and no cleaning up to be done. And. of course, there's always a choice and  gasthaus cooking tastes great.  Just right for for bachelor living.

Hansi's housewarming party.  A stove that was broken and a wonderful evening.  A true little story from life.

Hansi Zeiler